Just a quick service announcement on behalf of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Something very valuable to the team has come up missing and they kindly request all of our help in finding it. Its formal name is offense but it also goes my many other terms such as bats, hits and runs. It likes to BB and is afraid of Ks. Its hobbies include swinging a bat and hitting a ball. Its been missing for a while so it may be hard to find, needless to say though it is of utmost importance that it is returned ASAP. Please if you have seen anything matching this description contact the Pittsburgh Pirates at 115 Federal St Pittsburgh, PA 15212.